For a long time I fought the whole idea of 'coming out.' My argument is always that it should not be so strange or unexpected that it has to be suggested as a possibility before it is. My brother didn't bring a girl home for the first time and say 'Mom, Dad, I'm a heterosexual, and this is my girlfriend.' It felt unfair that I should have to go through that rather embarrassing, very scary process. However, that is life. Homosexuality is in the minority. People never expect someone to be gay; people always expect someone not to be gay.
I had an easy chore, I think; easier than many others, at least. All of my friends reacted in one of two ways - either the classic, "I thought this was something new?" or "Yeah, that makes sense." And my family either said it out loud before I was ever even convinced, or responded with, "That's wonderful, and we love you." In a way this made it even easier for me to fight 'coming out', because I felt that people already knew or didn't care in the least. The scariest group to talk about this to was my family, but that is likely more of a result of how important they are to me, rather than their point of view. The most difficult group to talk to is the family that I gained while growing up in the church. This is most definitely because of their importance to me; but also a direct result of the church's teaching on homosexuality. There is no denial of the desire or tendency, but clear teaching that living out the lifestyle is wrong. The difficulty lies in asking or expecting someone who believes in these teaches so strongly to then turn their back on them in order to still think of me in a favorable light. Over the past few years there have been two major reasons why I decided to be completely open.
First, I have slowly, but oh-so-surely come to realize that this is truly and entirely me, and that I will never be able to live happily if I'm not true to it. Case in point - I have never been happier now or more excited for the future before Haley. If these people are really that important to me, then I want them to know this and still share in my life.
Second is a point I felt very strongly just after the vote in Maine came through. Well, rather, it is a point that someone else made that I agree wholeheartedly with. An excerpt:
For me, I know the most powerful thing I can do is to continue to raise my family. To be out, every step of the way, proud and willing to have any conversation to help people understand better what it means to be a lesbian in this country.Yes and yes.
What it means to be a second class citizen.
Because deep down, I believe people will do the right thing when they have direct contact with what they fear is so different. That it's not about sex but humanity. It's about love and respect. It's about valuing human beings, all human beings, equally.
We are all God's children, to quote a friend of mine. I don't think you have to believe in God to believe in the sentiment. Someday, this nation will understand that.
Someday soon.
But not today.
So, essentially, I feel almost a duty to be totally open in order to inform people: This is homosexuality. I am what you are so against.
OK, now to the actual point of this post (or maybe not anymore.) Every detail of the most adorable, wonderful, romantic story is on the web site, so I won't rewrite them here. I am so excited to be engaged to this beautiful, amazing woman. I am so excited to begin our lives together; to inspire, to take care of, to share with and grow with each other. Check out our website if you have the time (it's a bit long... ha... because we felt the need to introduce ourselves to each other's families rather then just simply announce. I hope it's at least entertaining) and share in our excitement!
http://www.theknot.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment